Not only did we find out today that Johnny Depp…
Celebrity perfumes are everywhere, but these are the stars we really hope launch signature spritzes of their own in 2016.
When I found out that Meryl Streep’s signature scent is Guerlain Shalimar, I immediately felt more acquainted with her, as if the leathery, citrus body of her favourite perfume had walked into the room to greet me. Then, the knowledge made me want to own that very same fragrance. As Katie Puckrick says, “smelling like your favourite star is an incredibly intimate way to be close to them: It’s like stalking by scent.”
Celebrities have been slapping their monikers on perfumes for decades, but few people acknowledge the effort and attention that goes into choosing a perfume to call your own. Here are a few celebrities I wish had fragrances but don’t, so I’ve decided to dream some up instead.
If there were a scent for a feeling, Drake’s would smell a lot like sincerity—distilled. His fragrance would be unisex, because men, like women, want to be noticed because they smell good. It would be subtle, with lingering sweetness, but with top notes of a luminous musk. His first spritz would resemble walking into a spritz of fresh, clean water. The packaging would be blue.
Hillary Clinton Young
Imagine a strong, elegant bergamot top note, citrusy and fresh, layered over sandalwood and basil. After a year of trying to prove herself hip, Hillary Clinton’s signature scent would likely still possess an old-school flair — sensible, durable — but it would have a top-note intro that says “let’s take on the world, together.”
Amy Schumer Morning After
Although Amy Schumer has already jokingly released a perfume, her take on fragrances would likely do well in the category of celebrity scents. Which other feminist comedienne can you name worthy of her own fragrance? Schumer’s spicy personality and smart femininity would likely pair well with a mix of white florals, pink pepper, and ginger.
North West Best Friends
Born of two parents with fragrances of their own, North West is already behind in familial expectations. Not to worry: The once-only child is now big sister to baby Saint, and deserved of her own label given her unofficial status as “most Googled child.” Baby West’s perfume should embody that cushy new baby smell with a side of cotton candy and fake marshmallows, please.
Leonardo DiCaprio Musk
Despite his long career as an American pretty boy (those blonde locks, right?) the DiCaprio of late has been a huskier gentleman: bearded, broad-shouldered, and welcome to the attention over his fluctuating singledom. His cologne would be warm with tender notes of pine, dry woodsy cedar, and a hint of orange, bright like a wink from DiCaprio himself. It would hold promises of steamy weekend cabin getaways.
PHOTO: Amy Schumer in the 2015 Pirelli Calendar, shot by Annie Leibovitz, www.instagram.com/amyschumer